The Over-Sensitive Spouse: How To Stay Happily Married To An Empath


Do you accuse your spouse of being over-sensitive? Do you feel they read too far into things, and make big deals out of little problems? If so, you might be married to an empath, and understanding this gift can help you lead a happier, more fulfilling marriage. 

What Is An Empath?

Humans' ability to feel empathy is a genetic trait, coded into their DNA. And, just as one person may be more or less athletic depending on their genetic traits, so can they feel empathy on a greater or lesser level. Empaths are on the high end of this spectrum -- they feel a more intense empathy for others than the average individual does.

Some empaths are so tuned in to other people's feelings that they take on emotions that don't even belong to them. This bombardment of energies and emotions can make social interaction difficult. In fact, a new theory suggests that some autism-related disorders currently thought to be characterized by a lack of empathy are actually characterized by an overdrive of empathetic feelings for others.

How Does Your Partner's Empathy Affect Your Marriage?

When you meet up with your spouse after a long, stressful day at work, they can sense right away that your energy is unbalanced. They pick up on the stress, and automatically begin to cycle through scenarios that could have lead to your discomfort.

You may not feel like it's important to disclose all the menial events that, when added together totaled a bad day; but, your spouse can feel your unrest so strongly that they're not sure whether you broke your favorite coffee mug, or have decided you're unhappy in your marriage and plan to file for divorce. They know something is wrong, and not getting the details is incredibly nerve-racking to them.

Another way your spouse might handle their over-empathetic feelings is to turn inward. They may already understand that they're an over-sensitive person and avoid situations that might trigger them to react emotionally.

If you come home stressed-out from your workday and your spouse decides to stow away in another room for a while, they're not mad at you; they just don't want to absorb your stress and spend the rest of the night wondering what could have possibly gone wrong. The mild stress you feel may not bother you, but to your partner, it's a whole world of disastrous possibilities. 

How Can You Help?

So, can you stay happily married to an empath? Are there any coping techniques for dealing with a spouse that picks up on your every emotion? There certainly are.

Take The Time To Explain. If your spouse is asking you what's wrong, avoid the word "nothing" at all cost. When you aren't happy, they know it, so even if you're just bummed about a broken printer or having to cover somebody's shift, tell what's bothering you. Don't make them wonder.

Always Be Honest. There's nothing wrong with a little white lie, right? Wrong. Empaths are experts at reading body language and facial expressions. They even read into what words you choose to use or not use.

While one little white lie may save you from having to explain a whole chain of events that bear no significance to your relationship, you're partner is sure to sense that something's up and will view your small fib as a cause for distrust.

Give And Take Alone Time. If you aren't in the best of moods, but you don't want to draw your partner into your emotional dregs, kindly explain that you need some alone time. Hanging out with them while your emotions are bottled-up can quickly start an argument. Likewise, give your partner plenty of alone time so they can decompress and get in touch with their own feelings, untainted by the energy of other people.

Consider Counseling. If you've tried the above three tips and you're still feeling like your spouse's over-sensitivity is threatening your marriage, contact a marriage counselor. A counselor can offer your spouse advice on how to separate their feelings from yours, and can offer you advice on how to limit the effects of your emotions on your spouse.

While over-empathy can stress a marriage, it can also be a gift to have a partner who is perceptive of your every emotion. You can stay married to an empath, and have a wonderful union by following the above advice. You can read more on how to manage the differences between you and your spouse by looking up a marriage counselor's site, as well.


30 April 2015

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